I haven’t written in over a week. Something happened and whoosh, the energy just drained out of my projects. So what could a writer who has no motivation possibly say about motivation?
Over the course of the last few months a couple of members in my online writer’s group have lost spouses. I’ve never met them in person and yet it profoundly affected me. They are people I talk with and root for. And somehow their pain hit close to home.
I wondered if what I was doing was what I should be doing. I started questioning my direction and what I really wanted out of life. Then I caught the flu. Not enough to be hospital sick, but enough to be lazy sick.
So I stopped.
I stopped writing, but I didn’t stop thinking. I didn’t stop planning. I didn’t stop making goals.
When I first decided I needed to step back into writing, that’s where I started–with the to-do list and the goals for next year.
I know without a doubt that I can write 60,000 words in a month. That’s 2,000 words a day. Easy with weekend catch-up. But I pull myself in SO many directions. I want to write in too many genres in too many series with too many pen names. Then there’s editing and cover creation. And each hour has always seemed precious, so I feel guilty if I’m not busy.
I guess it’s not that I’m not motivated. It’s that I want to find and focus on the thing that drives me most. I need to find my most passionate passion and FOCUS and sometimes that requires distance–stopping and stepping back.